Cold Feet
by Aria's Locket
Summary: "I'm a single, young, blind woman that can kick anyone's ass if they came my way, but I'm not stupid enough to think I can raise a kid!" Toph is trying to make the hardest decision of her life, and Katara's there to hold her hand every step of the way. Friendship fic. Pro-bending Circuit submission.


**Title: **Cold Feet

**Rating: **K+

**Words: **3,370

**Summary: **"I'm a single, young, blind woman that can kick anyone's ass if they came my way, but I'm not stupid enough to think I can raise a kid!" Toph is trying to make the hardest decision of her life, and Katara's there to hold her hand every step of the way.

**a/n:** Round 1 submission for the Pro-Bending Circuit tournament. I feel like people really underrate the friendship between Toph and Katara, so here's a friendship fic for once, plus a little headcanon of mine.

**Task:** Write about the first time someone had to make a very important decision

**Prompts to be used: **

7) (genre) Friendship

8) (dialogue) "Someone's sensitive."

10) (dialogue) "The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have." –Vince Lombardi

**Bonus Task: **Include the element Earth into the story.

**OOO**

_Cold Feet_

**OOO**

Unfortunately, Katara wasn't a stranger to being left home alone on Air Temple Island with the kids. It was an occupational hazard of being the Avatar that Aang was forced to pack up and fly off to other nations on short notice to offer his assistance to whomever needed it. As much as he hated doing so, it was his duty. But every time he left he would tell Katara to "hold down the fort" and to "take care of the kids" while he was gone. He'd be back before she knew it.

That was never soon enough, because the people of Republic City seemed to think that because the Avatar wasn't around, his wife was the go-to person for all issues regarding peace in the city. Not that this was necessarily a _bad_ thing, but when you had two young children to take care of and one on the way—coming _very soon_, as was evidenced by her swollen feet—dealing with petty things like noise complaints was the last of your problems.

But of course, Katara couldn't really say no to helping when she had a small crowd of Republic City dwellers at her doorstep desperate for help.

Katara sighed and held up a hand, silencing the nervous chatter of the citizens crowded around her. She cleared her throat and asked, "Alright, so these noises have been going on for how long?"

An old man spoke up. "It was only going for half an hour, but I have no doubt it's still going on as we speak."

The older woman wrapped around his left arm—probably his wife—assented this fact. "It's terribly disruptive. No one can sleep or focus on dinner with all of it going on."

Katara frowned. That must have been a pretty loud disturbance. Still… "Wouldn't the better person to go to be the Chief of Police?" Katara reasoned, wondering in advance why Toph wasn't jumping on this sooner. Surely she would have found out about it before this many civilians had time to take a ferry all the way to Air Temple Island to complain about it.

A younger woman was looking down at her fiddling hands. "That's the thing, Master Katara…we think the noises are coming from Chief Bei Fong's house," she admitted. "That's why we came to you. We figured you would know what to do."

Katara didn't visibly react at first, but she withered at the information and grumbled under her breath. Great. Now she _really_ couldn't get out of this.

Deciding that there was no other choice, she went to collect Bumi and Kya—"Hush now! We're just going to go visit Aunt Toph for a while. Won't that be fun?"—and followed the rest of the citizens on the ferry into Republic City. Despite the fact that she lived so close to Republic City, Katara never heard from Toph particularly often. The Chief would come down to visit Katara, Aang, and the children every other week or so, but ever since the Earthbender had taken up her position as Chief of Police, she had her work cut out for her. Republic City was relatively new, and the mixing of cultures led to a lot of strain that kept her and her men quite busy.

But Katara certainly never thought that Toph would be a source of disturbance herself. Katara couldn't imagine what Toph could possibly be doing to warrant a noise complaint from what looked like a sizeable portion of an entire neighborhood. Toph was a bit of a raucous wild card when they were children, but that had certainly calmed down now that they were adults and had responsibilities. What could be the problem?

As soon as Katara entered the borough where she knew Toph's house to be, she could hear the noises. Bumi and Kya were clutching her dress from behind, immediately wary of the chaos. Katara didn't blame them. She placed one hand on each of their heads and murmured to them that everything would be alright, despite the fact that she wasn't sure of this herself. These weren't just noises. They sounded like earthquakes and landslides. As she got closer, the collisions were shaking the ground she was walking on, causing the entire block to open their windows and stand on their front stoops, wondering at the cause of all the noise.

Katara pushed open Toph's front gate and turned to Bumi and Kya. "Alright, you two. Listen up. Aunt Toph is a little upset right now, so I need to go see what's wrong. Do you think you can stay here for a few minutes while I check on her?"

Kya was too young to bother to protest, but Bumi spoke up immediately. "Aw! But we see her all the time! Why can't we come?"

"Well, you see, Aunt Toph can get a little riled up when she's mad. I don't want you two to be yelled at. I'd rather she be mad at me." Truthfully, she was afraid Toph would whip up some mean Earthbending and not be able to control herself. Even though Katara was pregnant, she could still bend pretty well and defend herself if Toph got really out of control. From the looks of things, that didn't seem too far off.

She requested the crowd she came with to watch her children for her while Katara stepped inside the house. Using the spare key that Toph had given her, Katara entered the house and noticed that everything looked sparse and untouched. All the rooms upstairs were empty, and so were the den, the living room, and the kitchen. That meant that Katara's suspicions were confirmed and Toph was probably in the backyard.

Sure enough, when Katara walked through the back door, Toph was bending frighteningly large boulders from the ground, arcing them through the air, and slamming them back into the ground with startling ferocity. The ground shook, and Katara placed a hand on her stomach, suddenly growing more worried. Toph kept repeating the actions, grunting and crying out every time the boulders made contact with the ground. Katara knew to keep her distance. If growing up with Toph taught her one thing, it was that the younger woman always bent out her frustrations. From here, Toph looked absolutely livid.

Katara couldn't keep quiet any longer. "You know, your bending was always able to wake up a crowd, but this is a little ridiculous, don't you think?"

Toph was in mid-stance when she froze and heard Katara's voice. That was surprising. Katara supposed Toph was too distracted to feel her coming through the vibrations in the Earth. But Toph certainly recognized her voice.

The Earthbender shook her head and scowled. "I knew giving you a key was a bad idea. You just waltz into my house, no warning given. Just perfect…"

Katara wasn't deterred by the rough tone. "Well I think it's warranted considering that half of the neighborhood had to come get me because of all the noise," she berated. "Now, why don't you just calm down, and explain to me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."

Toph laughed at Katara's last sentence—a bitter, humorless laugh. "Give me a break, Sugar Queen, you couldn't fix this even if you tried. So just march on out of here, will you? I don't want to hit you and the baby."

Katara planted her feet. "No," she insisted. "I'm not leaving. You only bend and act out like this when you're upset. Since I'm here to deal with the noise complaint, I need to know why you're frustrated so that I can try and do something."

"Spirits, will you just _get out!?"_ Toph whirled on Katara and glared sightlessly in her direction. "Stop trying to come over here—_uninvited_ by the way—and insert yourself into every weepy little sob story that catches your interest. I'm fine, and I'm going to continue to be fine. So just get the heck out of my house and leave me alone. I don't need you and your prissy little worrywart act right now because I certainly didn't ask for it. I'm not hurting anybody, and everyone else that's acting all chicken about the noise can just deal, alright?"

Katara couldn't help but feel a little disgusted at the shouting. "Well _someone's _sensitive!" Katara yelled back at her, frustration starting to bubble inside her as well. "You don't need to lash out at me, Toph. As strange as this is, we're friends and I'm just trying to help you because Spirits know you look like you need it! You don't have to be so darn ungrateful!"

"I'm _ungrateful_?" Toph snorted. She marched up to Katara until she was only standing a few feet away and began to point her finger in her direction. "I didn't ask you to come here. You took it upon yourself to decide that I needed help in the first place."

"So all this is just a hobby of yours?" Katara replied sharply. "Just a thing you do on the weekends? You can't lie to me, Toph," Katara reasoned more softly. "I know you. Tell me what's wrong."

Toph huffed out indignantly, but didn't attempt to open her mouth and yell back. The woman's shoulders sagged tiredly and she shook her head as if she were speaking to a child. "I already told you, there's nothing that you can do to help."

"You don't know that!" Katara cried out, balling her hands into fists. "You're so stubborn. Here you have your friends willing to help you, and you just want to turn them away because you're being cynical." Toph's gaze was directed towards the ground now, and Katara took that as a sign of being ignored. "Will you listen to me? Tell me what's the matter!"

Toph didn't immediately reply. Instead, her toes were digging into the ground with urgency. Toph let out a huge sigh and raked her fingers through her loose hair to pull back her bangs that were sticking to her brow due to sweat and exertion. Her hand stayed on the top of her head and she bit her lip, as if debating her next words. Katara was about to encourage her more, but Toph had already beat her to it. "Fine, Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes. You wanna help? Figure out a way for me to puzzle out of this." Toph held out her arms as if she were displaying herself. "I'm pregnant."

Katara froze for a moment, and thought for sure she had heard something wrong. But Toph's vulnerable gaze certainly verified the claim, and Katara felt her heart drop into her stomach. Pregnant? Toph? How? The only person whom Toph had been seeing on a consistent basis had been Kanto, a Republic City citizen that Toph had been pretty happy with before they broke up. None of her friends knew much about his whereabouts now, but Katara was definitely aware that they hadn't been together for close to two months. Something about them just didn't work out well. Toph was vague on the details. But Katara certainly didn't expect this.

Not sure what else to say, Katara mumbled, "How do you know?"

Toph kept digging her toes into the dirt beneath her. "I didn't until today. I just felt its heartbeat while I was sitting in the kitchen," Toph smiled sadly. "Plus I've been sick for the past two weeks and missing my courses, so it makes sense."

Katara swallowed the lump in her throat. "Kanto's?"

Tired of yelling and fighting and already feeling the severity of the situation she was in, Toph nodded miserably and sat herself down on the ground. "Has to be," she confirmed. "And before you say anything, no he doesn't know. He's not going to. Besides, that's not the issue."

Katara approached Toph and very carefully settled herself on the ground across from Toph, finding a comfortable enough position on the ground despite her large stomach. "Well, what's the issue?"

Toph chuckled and started sifting the loose dirt at her feet through her fingers. "The issue is that I didn't want to be pregnant." She paused, and when she spoke again her voice sounded thick with emotion. "I _still_ don't want to be pregnant."

Something about that admission didn't sit well with Katara. "What are you saying?"

Toph shook her head and leaned her forehead against the palm of her free hand. "Exactly what I said. I don't know if I want this."

"You don't know if you want to keep the baby?" Katara replied horrified.

Toph must have realized how scandalous this sounded to Katara, so she quickly put a stop to the impending criticism. "Oh, look at me, Sugar Queen! Do I look like motherly material to you? I could barely say a word without making Twinkle Toes cry when we were kids, what the heck makes me think I can take care of a baby?" Toph set her jaw. "No. I can't do it. I can't keep it. Someone else who can take care of it can do it, but I'm not doing it."

"How can you say that, Toph?" Katara begged. "This is your child. It's a part of you."

"A part of me or not, I can't take care of it," Toph repeated. "I'm not going to put it through that."

"Put it through what?" Katara asked. "Loving care? Affection? Its own mother?"

Toph laughed bitterly again. "Actually, yeah. I'm not putting it through me." Toph's voice began to crack. "Trust me, the last thing this baby needs is me. I'm doing it a favor."

"Toph, this is ridiculous," Katara explained. "This also isn't like you at all! Whatever happened to all that talk you bragged around when you were little? You said you were always facing things head on and were never afraid of anything that came your way. You're just going to reduce all that to useless noise now? You're just going to run away?"

"I'm not running away!" Toph bashed her fist on the ground, causing the Earth to quake briefly underneath them. Katara flung a hand out to steady herself on the ground, but Toph was still shouting. "This is the right thing. I don't know what I'm doing. This is way beyond being terrified, Sugar Queen. I'm _petrified_," she admitted. "When I was kid, all I had to worry about was myself. I pulled my weight, and I did everything for myself. Now…every decision I make is for me and a child." Toph grabbed at her hair in frustration, as if she couldn't believe her own words. "I've got to be in charge of a life. I'm a single, young, blind woman that can kick anyone's ass if they came my way…but I'm not stupid enough to think I can raise a kid. I…I don't think I can do this. This kid deserves someone more capable."

The two of them sat in silence. Katara didn't feel comfortable pretending she knew exactly how Toph felt. Being a caregiver was something that came second nature to her. Toph was never used to such things, and probably wasn't comfortable having to get a crash course in it in such a startling way. Still, seeing Toph so haunted and confused on the ground made Katara's chest tighten. Right now, Toph was in need of some assurance, and who else to do that but her best friend?

Katara bit her lip as she responded. "I was scared, too. When I found out I was having Bumi," Katara clarified. "Aang and I hadn't planned it, so it was sudden. We were happy, but…it was a lot of responsibility. I was afraid the birth would go wrong. I was afraid that I would mess up. I was afraid that he would grow up lacking in something and suffer in the world because of it." Katara shrugged. "All mothers worry about those kinds of things. It's normal. I'm not trying to say that I totally understand your position. But I sympathize. It's hard. But you can get through it."

"I'm not you, Katara," Toph said seriously, resorting to using Katara's given name instead of a nickname. "Being a mother is like breathing for you. You were born to take care of people. Me…" Toph paused. "I don't have that. I can't give it what it needs. It's going to suffer for it, and I don't want to be a bad mother or a bad person because I was incapable, or because something was out of my control. I won't."

So that's what it was, Katara realized sadly. Toph was afraid she wasn't good enough, like her weakness would turn her into a terrible person. Toph didn't handle guilt well. Katara knew this first hand when she found out the truth about the woman's parents. To disappoint her parents was one thing, but to disappoint her own child must feel so much worse. No wonder Toph had lashed out in anger before. Like she said before, she was scared.

Katara put a hand over Toph's. "I'm going to tell you something. The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have," Katara responded seriously. "It's easy to think about all the things we can't give people and all the things that are out of our control. But all anyone can do is do the best with the hand they've been dealt. I know that this is new for you and hard for you to deal with, but that doesn't mean you're incapable."

Katara squeezed her hand. "You're not lacking, Toph. You are a wonderful woman, and one of my best friends. You're going to be a great mother," she promised. "Just because this is something new for you, doesn't mean you can't handle it. I mean, you're the world's greatest Earthbender, the world's only Metalbender, and the Chief of Police of Republic City. I can't think of a single thing you can't do."

Toph smiled sadly at the compliments, but merely shrugged her shoulders. "I've never had to decide on something like this. You know…decide on what I want to become. Decide if I want to raise a child or not. I've always known who I was, and now it's like I have to become something new. The fact is that I'm grossly underprepared."

Katara nodded in sympathy. She knew that feeling, at least. She had felt the same thing when she was pregnant her first time. "Well," Katara said, cupping Toph's cheek and trying to cheer her up a little. "No mother is ever prepared for her first child. It's terrifying for everyone. But don't think you're alone. You have your friends just a short boat ride away from here to help you. Heck, you've got me," Katara smiled. "I'll help you. We'll do it together, alright? I mean, you have time to learn and to get used to the idea, and there's nothing I would ever refuse to help you with. I'm here for you no matter what you decide to do. You know that, right?"

Toph nodded again, this time with a genuine smile. She nodded a few more times, as if convincing herself of something and solidifying it in her head. "Yeah, I know," she answered. "I mean…if a guy like Aang can handle being a father, who's to say I can't be a mother, right?"'

Katara couldn't help but laugh at her husband's expense. "I don't think he'd appreciate hearing that."

Toph shrugged. "Eh, it's true. Besides, you're just as much of a wimp as he is. You're trying to make me cry and get all sentimental. Well, nice try!"

Katara shook her head, her shoulders still shaking in humor. "Well, you can't blame me for that." She paused for a moment, apprehension crawling back. "Are you sure you're okay?"

But Toph didn't seem too perturbed anymore. She shoved Katara's shoulder half-heartedly. "I'm solid, Sweetness," she assured. "I'll figure this whole thing out. If I learned how to see…then I can learn this," Toph decided adamantly. Katara's hand was still covering Toph's, and younger woman finally squeezed it back. "Thank you."

Katara grinned, feeling her worries finally melt away. "Anytime."


End file.
